Mims

2010-07-28T02:11:00.001-04:00

Only once in your life do you find someone that can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with anyone else. They hear what you have to say, and actually want to know more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life throws your way. When something wonderful happens, the first thing that comes to mind is that you want them to share in your excitement.

They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you're hurting, or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you're not good enough. Instead, they build you up and show you things about yourself that you've never realized before. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition, but a calmness when they are around. You can be yourself without having to worry about what they'll think of you. They appreciate you for who you are. And they know what makes you the way you are.. the good and bad and ugly and uglier.

The things that seem insignificant to most people become invaluable treasures. What you see in each other each day becomes more clear and vivid. There’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become intriguing at the least, because you know that it's important to this someone. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day. And in doing so, you experience what was thought to be impossible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way for this feeling to happen. It’s so different, exciting, and so real that it scares you. But with time, you realize this simple luxury in knowing that they are a part of your life.

2010-04-15T02:30:00.002-04:00

Dear Diary...

When I was a little girl, I never thought I'd be like I am today. I swore my favourite colour would always be pink (and sometimes purple). My favourite food would always be ice cream or spaghetti, and my eyes would light up like diamonds whenever my mom's response to "What's for dinner?" was "Spaghetti and Meatballs". I RARELY eat that now. Ice cream doesn't make me happy in the same way anymore. I prefer gelato and sorbet over Laura Secord's chocolate topped cones, or Baskin Robbin's heavily rich jamoca almond fudge. The fat kid inside me hates how my preference in food has changed so much over the years. She definitely hates it.

My biggest fear in Grade 3 was having to shave my head because of lice. A girl in my class chopped off all her hair because those little bugs planted mounds of nits on her scalp. I made my mom painstakingly shampoo my hair 3x a day for one week, just so I could keep my ass long hair. Now I fear the unsettling reality that is to lose a few balls of hair from showering, brushing, and blow drying everyday. Maybe I should leave my hair smelling of grease to salvage as much as I can while I still have it. From this I know that in the future, I will fear the day where I realize that I'm over the middle-aged mark, bordering senior, and inevitably having to don the no-longer-youthfully-lustrous-nor-capable short haired look.

Riding this line between being a girl and a young woman is head-awful. My brain is split in all decisions... the girl wants to do this, the young woman KNOWS that the smarter choice (though it may not be more appealing) is the proper way to go.

I wish the sun was always out, and we never got old, music always good and the champagne always cold... Jay-Z was onto something.

2010-03-08T21:42:00.000-05:00

Having a VIS minor means hours slaving away at the studio (sometimes overnight ><) trying to finish project after project. Art has always been stressFREE for me, up until it became a serious part of my studies in university. I consider myself to be kind of a nit-pick in a lot of the ways I like things to be done.. and creating art was never any different. For the longest time, the way I painted or drew something was extremely disciplined in its practice. The entire process was mapped out, the pre-plans had plans, sketches were drawn again and again and then again, and you get the idea..

So for one of my pieces this year I decided to let all things loose and just go for it. At the time I started this project I was obsessed with the song Lost by Anouk Teeuwe. So I deafened myself from the world, put Lost on repeat, and listened and painted, and listened and splattered, and listened and flung, paint.

You may not like it at all, you may not get it, you may love it, or question it.. but keep in mind that art (like most things) is incredibly subjective and always open to individual interpretation.

2010-03-01T15:06:00.001-05:00

It's inevitable that after analyzing the "mind" as a source of different states of consciousness for a whole term, that you wouldn't stop to think of how often it's experienced in your own ordinary lives. This has been bothering me for the whole term, realizing the different states of mental awareness I've experienced and exactly whether or not they mean anything at all. SO, I made a list of moments where I've noticed a change in my "state of mind":

ONE. the overlap between different states of sleep consciousness: you know that strange out of body feeling you get when you're aware that you're falling asleep but have not yet completely fallen asleep..

TWO. the 5 min of relaxation my yoga instructor puts us through at the end of each class: as your body is instructed to release all tension and physical exertion, you drift into a very meditative state where your mind just feels blank..

THREE. playing the piano: either playing a familiar piece of music or playing from memory, have you ever felt that you knew the song so well your mind feels unaware of the technical aspect of getting each note right.. and your fingers develop a mind of their own, the music just sounds, 8 bars pass and you know you played them yet you have no recollection of it..

FOUR. not far from the last point, reading a book: our minds are talented in that they multi-task on their own at times, mentally juggling more than one thing at a time. Sometimes I find myself having to re-read a paragraph or sentence because (although I've read the words) I hadn't retained any contextual evidence the first time through..

FIVE. losing count while running: it's been a routine of mine to plug in my headphones and count laps on my fingers when running, some days I'll set a goal of x laps and wind down when my fingers have reached that number. I'm not the type who uses running time to plan my day or sort through thoughts, instead it really is a way to clear my mind.. sometimes so much that I lose count..

Sleeping, yoga, music, reading, and running.. maybe it's the years of having practiced each that's made them repress an active consciousness in my brain. Maybe.

2010-02-20T16:38:00.000-05:00

Ever wonder what your life would be like if you'd made one decision over another sometime in your past? I do.. all the time, and I bet you have to! There are endless what ifs and coulda shoulda wouldas and I wonders we could torment ourselves with. The unfortunate reality is that we will never know... never know who we'd be if we'd chosen a different university, said yes to a year of studies abroad, or dated one person instead of another. We will never know what could be, and only know what IS. The permanence and unchangeable nature of reality and life is what makes the idea of "fantasy", "spirituality", or even "mysticism" so intriguing. It's the possibility of there actually being something more than what we see that keeps our minds curious.

I recently saw The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, a great film, though it dangerously sways between a fantastical mess of confusion and a philosophically inspiring masterpiece. The movie deals with our deepest desires, good or evil, and brings them into an almost believable (this is the confusing part) reality. It brings to light our ambitions, fulfillments, and what truly exists in the mind - whether or not you're consciously aware of it all. The film threw my thoughts into a whirl of the desires we know exist versus what we unconsciously and truly crave.

Is it possible to unknowingly experience mysticism? Or to be engulfed by all things zen, spiritual, harmonious, and just lose yourself in that state of mind without even recognizing so?

Update: I added a few more artist/design links! Check out Alyssa Monks's work, her paintings look UNbelievably photographic.

2010-02-05T14:36:00.003-05:00

There are many optical illusions that test the human eye in a psychological context. They're designed to train your eye, trick your brain, and question what you really saw or didn't see. This one is called the Orange Card:

Take a few deep breaths and relax your mind.
Stare at the blue dot for 30 seconds.
Close your eyes and an after-image should appear.

At first, the after-image you see is the colour orange; the same after-image will then take on the colour blue. The colour and shape of this test can be changed (red dot in a green square) and will yield the same results.

The Orange Card test shows that by staring at the blue dot for long enough, upon closing your eyes, an after-image of orange then blue will appear. Even if it disappears for a second, just by thinking that it will re-appear.. it will in fact, re-appear. Try it.

So what is the point of a test like this? Is the blue after-image actually there? Is it hidden behind the orange? Does the after-image even exist at all? Or is it just something we're imagining because you've stared so long at an orange square (simply yet purposefully presented with a central blue dot) that you expect to see something? Is it our mind playing tricks on us, or the science behind the power of the human eye?

There's a good chance that it could be purely psychological, where the mind makes up an after-image to satisfy our need for an answer, or some sort of outcome. Whatever you believe it to be, the same questions can be applied to how the mystical experience is percieved. It seems that the more you read on mysticism, the more you buy into the idea that maybe the "experience" of it exists afterall and is actually possible to achieve. Think of the all the texts as the orange that fills the square, solidly composed by scholars over time. Reading text upon text, seeing how much R&D has been put into the topic of mystic theory & practice, you would expect to find a blue dot in the end.

Here are 2 more fun mind/eye tricks to try, enjoy! The Tube Optical Illusion, is the black spot growing? And the Jesus Optical Illusion, stare at the image then stare at a blank white wall.. maybe you'll be lucky enough to see Jesus.

2010-01-21T16:39:00.020-05:00

"Mysticism is a process of sublimation."
One of the first thoughts I had on mysticism was in response to the above quote by Evelyn Underhill from the King reading in an East Asian Mysticism course I'm taking (EAS345). As soon as the word sublimation was placed in an article attempting to define how to define mysticism, I could not help but draw connections to a particular artist from the Romantic Period - William Turner. Turner (1775-1851) was a British artist who committed to expressing the Sublime in his landscapes. Bored by the mundane subject matter assumed by most artists of the time, he was moved by the transfiguration and spirit of the natural world. This interest combined with his artistic attraction towards the changes of light in various atmospheres inspired the idea of an inner "experience" in his works.

The Sublime was considered to be an aesthetic AND an experience. It was a sensory reaction to nature or art at its greatest effect. Art that showcased the sublime evoked a feeling of awe through its visual qualities.

Left: Snow Storm - Steam-boat off a Harbour's Mouth (exh. 1842), Oil on canvas
Right: Norham Castle, Sunrise (ca 1845), Oil on canvas

How does this all relate to mysticism? Because mysticism cannot exist without the experience. Mysticism, during the period of Romanticism, was thought to be a private versus rational/public concept. It was unconventional, and the very idea of going against the norm is what pushed Turner towards wanting others to experience something powerful from his scenes.

"Snow Storm" and "Norham Castle" are examples of Turner's work. As you can see, there is an unclear division between the subject and background. Instead, what you sense is the visual impact of how he understands nature - a unique, and arguably 'complete' landscape. His paintings are ambiguous and unknown, yet spiritually captivating. The notion of Mysticism can be read in a similar way: it is the mysterious, the ambiguous, unknown, spiritually captivating.. and beautiful when the whole experience is realized. Turner plays a mild game of Host & Guest, where he is the host and we are the guests. Invited to experience the sublime, each viewing arouses a slightly different response based on your emotions, surroundings, and desire to submerge into the sensory experience.

2010-01-17T20:47:00.007-05:00

Just deleted all my dusty-old posts, overdue but done.. blog is revived. Now this is a collection of thoughts inspired by anything and everything I experience! with an emphasis on how my love of Art plays into it all. Please be patient as I will post some real thoughts soon.