4/15/2010
Dear Diary...
When I was a little girl, I never thought I'd be like I am today. I swore my favourite colour would always be pink (and sometimes purple). My favourite food would always be ice cream or spaghetti, and my eyes would light up like diamonds whenever my mom's response to "What's for dinner?" was "Spaghetti and Meatballs". I RARELY eat that now. Ice cream doesn't make me happy in the same way anymore. I prefer gelato and sorbet over Laura Secord's chocolate topped cones, or Baskin Robbin's heavily rich jamoca almond fudge. The fat kid inside me hates how my preference in food has changed so much over the years. She definitely hates it.
My biggest fear in Grade 3 was having to shave my head because of lice. A girl in my class chopped off all her hair because those little bugs planted mounds of nits on her scalp. I made my mom painstakingly shampoo my hair 3x a day for one week, just so I could keep my ass long hair. Now I fear the unsettling reality that is to lose a few balls of hair from showering, brushing, and blow drying everyday. Maybe I should leave my hair smelling of grease to salvage as much as I can while I still have it. From this I know that in the future, I will fear the day where I realize that I'm over the middle-aged mark, bordering senior, and inevitably having to don the no-longer-youthfully-lustrous-nor-capable short haired look.
Riding this line between being a girl and a young woman is head-awful. My brain is split in all decisions... the girl wants to do this, the young woman KNOWS that the smarter choice (though it may not be more appealing) is the proper way to go.
I wish the sun was always out, and we never got old, music always good and the champagne always cold... Jay-Z was onto something.
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